How to develop balance: knowing to think, to want, and to love

Recently, I learned about the pedagogy of Fr. Tomas Morales, S.J and how it helps people fulfill themselves by learning to think, want, and love. It’s incredibly hard when you realize what it truly entails. Think about all those people you admire or looked up to when you were younger.  What were they like? Poised, mature, balanced, seasoned, confident, calm, collected, at peace, etc. Well, how is it going for you? Are you getting there or are you there already? If you are that’s great, but if you’re not, think about how you confront any situation that comes your way, how you make the decisions you make, and how you put yourself forward.

His pedagogy* is very universal and, really, anyone can benefit from learning about it. It is meant for anyone who wants to strive well and help others to do the same.

If you are thinking about the questions I posed above, think first about how you were raised and who were the most influential people in your life. A lot of who we are and what we do comes from how we were educated, in some cases not educated, in our youth. Some of us had great parents, a great family, great friends, great teachers, and a lot of them helped us be the best we could be. Father Tomas Morales, S.J. really cared about youth, their importance in the future, and how they could fully develop into everything they could be. Well, with the years, he discovered that a fully-developed or balanced person learns, or is taught, how to do 3 important things:

Think, Want, & Love

So, how do you do it?

First, you need to know what it is to know to think, to want, and to love.


To Know How to Think =

  • to assimilate information
  • to stay calm; cultivate serenity
  • to know that what society teaches us [what is good=what I like and what is not good=what I don’t like] is not necessarily true

What to do if you need to strengthen your thinking:

  • have time for silence, to examine yourself [society today hates silence]

To Know How to Want =

  • to select from many choices
  • to form willpower
  • to encourage others to do things; not to do everything yourself but have others collaborate

What to do if you need to strengthen your willpower:

  • do more sacrifices [little details that can help you do better, for example: actually get up when the alarm goes off]

To Know How to Love = [to love is the objective of life, to give what you have]

  • to not confuse it with sentimentality
  • to not confuse it with sensuality [sex is not always making love]
  • to give (yourself) to others

Second, when you fail, do not give up. One of Fr. Morales’ most famous phrases and the inspiration of my blog’s title is: “I will never tire starting over again.” You have to keep trying always, if you want to be better, even when it seems like it’s impossible.

“Never tire starting over again”

I realize I’m not there yet, even though I’m raising 4 kids. Like any parent, I want them to be perfect, but I have to put more effort into “getting it together” myself. How is it going for you?

*pedagogy is a form of educating, a system of education and that to educate is to show how to be free. In other words, to teach another how to live freely.

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